Do I stay or do I go?

an 8 ball calls my name, a bottle of wine woes me while a script of percicet makes everything alright. The sweethearts dance, my consistent lovers, there for all time never failing me, they always have my back, weak or strong. Never leaving me there to hear my cries. Helping me let go of the world and the stress it brings.

I miss just being Alive, wild & fun… Laughing and smiling… as you are my 2 – 3 as of course Bella is # 1

Bella 1st… Business 2nd…
everything else is just what someone else wants to be the “Jones” FUCK THAT! I built my world against that deception and I refuse to be a conformist to simply please you. I wont do it nor pay anyone else to either. If you cant stand by my side while I get better you never had my back to begin with.

My drugs and alcohol love me and thats all that matters now. I don’t need the worlds approval, anyones for that matter. Like my favorite band Violent femmes say, “you can all just kiss off into the air” I have no faith in People, they don’t know what commitment is… I’m good with my own BS, thanks but keep your bitter life to your self… I’m not jaded I just don’t care about fools who don’t care about themselves…

Originally written May 11, 2007
by Venus Banuelos
revised with difficulty on 10/5/2010

I don’t feel the same that was the difficulty
capturing the agony I no longer feel.

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